Poem: Trapped

Exhaustion in my soul
Settles into my bones.
I am trapped.
A bird in a cage,
A prisoner locked far away.
I am trapped.
Please don't let me lose myself,
I still have far to go.
This journey is long, and it takes being strong,
But it is all I know.
Will you laugh and cry with me
And love me while I'm here?
Will you respect my identity?
Or leave your friend in tears.
I'm happy that you stayed with me
And sorry I have to go.
I tell you it's for the best.
Strangulation will not be my home.
I will chase my goals without regard for your conveniences
For now I'm on my own
I'll tell you for the longest time
That this is how it goes.
Please don't cry as I leave the nest,
I thank you for your care.
Please don't cry as I leave the pack
I just need some fresh air.
It's okay to let me go
Do whatever you feel is right.
Do what makes you comfortable.
I will deal with my own might.
If I seem far away.
It's okay, it's okay.
Wait for another lovely day.
It's okay, it's okay.

Poem: A Place To Call My Own

A Place To Call My Own

My Original Poem

You walk into a room

And you're presented with two doors,

Two pictures of two different types of people

But neither is you.

What do you do?

Confusion overtakes you,

A deep pit in the bottom of your stomach.

You choose a door

Numbly, you look around.

This isn't right.

Naturally, you try the other one.

This isn't right.

What do you do?

Lost, you stare at the doors

And make a new room.

Nobody helps.

They don't care.

They tell you,

"Pick a door,"

"Pick a room."

They shove you into a room.

What are they seeing?

You keep fighting.

This is my room, my door

And a place to call my own.

My decluttering journey

It's said that teens are messy, that it's a reflection of the mess inside their brains. I can confirm that my hardest times were some of my messiest. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of the worst of it, because I was so ashamed of how my room looked.

My journey started a while back, I decluttered over and over and it was such an overwhelming task. However, it has gotten exponentially better over the past two years.

I have decluttered bags upon bags of stuff! From books to clothes to all sorts of random decorations has been decluttered from my room. It's such a free, awesome, light feeling to have it out of my care.

Top 10 Reasons I'm Decluttering

(and why I'm keeping my life much more simple in the future & taking in far less stuff)

1. I'm heading to college/ university in September 2018 and will have a much smaller space to work with.
2. Clutter stresses me out and makes it hard to concentrate fully on the task at hand.
3. I have memory issues and having less stuff makes it easier to remember what I have and where it is.
4. I want to travel more.
5. I don't want to become a hoarder, and apparently it's an easy trap to fall into.
6. I have motivation to clean others' houses, but not my own.
7. I don't want to pay my time and attention to insignificant things while the things, activities, and people important to me sit there untouched.
8. I want to feel happy and free, and contribute less to companies that rely on child labour.
9. I am forever changing, and I want my life to reflect me, not a past me, at the lowest cost possible.
10. I'm tired of the upkeep, the mess, the stress and frustration of too much.

Steps I have taken

Phase One: Constant decluttering and reorganization, but no real change.

I constantly got rid of and organized things, but there was so much stuff replacing it that, in about a few months to two years, I was back at stage one.

Phase Two: The Catalyst

The catalyst to decluttering for good was moving several hours away. There was limited room, so I only took what I thought I needed.

I decluttered a bit during the year I lived there, but when I moved back was when I started really thinking about what to get rid of again. I got rid of several garbage bags of books I didn't read, clothes I never wore/ were too small/ I didn't feel good in, and some pieces of decor that I didn't have the space to display in a non-overwhelming way.

Phase Three: The Plan

This is the phase I'm at now, the one where I ask how much I want to own, truly. Where is that 'just right' spot for me at this time?

I'm Goldilocks-ing it!

Pride was great, and other events

Flags I purchased at Pride In The Park on Saturday.

Left to right: Demisexual, Pansexual, Genderqueer, Polyamourous*

*edit: apparently this is the leather pride flag, the polyamourous one has pi on it.... I have public pictures with me waving the flag with my other ones... I accidentally displayed kink... I'm dying of embarrassment. Rip. Maybe I can exchange one?

I still had a great time, which is what matters most.

I went through a pokemon go phase recently.

Got my hair cut Tuesday

My mom gave me this cool hat

Ironic pic I took

Edgy vandalism

Ducks!

Project 333: why I think it's awesome!

What is Project 333?

tl;dr minimalist fashion challenge: dress with 33 items or less for 3 months

Why is it super awesome?

• It's temporary
• It's flexible & can match your life
• It's low/ no cost
• It teaches people about their relationship with stuff.
• It's a gateway to minimalism
• It creates space!
• It will save time in the mornings!
• & more!...

3 months may seem a bit long, but in the grand scheme of things, it's relatively short! 33 items means over 90 different outfits, depending on what assortment of clothes & accessories you choose!

When am I trying it?

I will start this challenge by October 1st, perhaps earlier.

I'm back!

Hi everyone, it's been a while... I'm now about to enter my senior year of high school this semester, in my third high school. I've moved twice, I've discovered new ideas and new things like minimalism and vegetarian & vegan lifestyles, intersectional feminism, bodyposi, and I met another person who uses they/ them pronouns in real life! All super cool things.

I've also had some not so super cool things happen: fights with my mom which escalated to the point that moving 5 hours away seemed like (and in many ways was, but in a few wasn't) my best option. I've gotten in and out of toxic relationships and bad situations, went back to therapy (again, and I'm not comfortable discussing my mental health in detail at this point in my life), met a pagan teen outside of the internet, and have taken on some 'adult' responsibilities...

I cringe at some of the language and word choices of my old posts, but overall my interests and beliefs have remained similar: I like outer space, sci fi, fantasy, alternative fashion & music, and awesome quotes. I'm a little less into fashion as a whole, and I now own a chest binder as well as some ties. I'm continuing to learn a lot about the world, myself, and how I want my life to turn out.

I still have bad days, but in the early 2010s I was in a majorly bad place for the first time with no clue how to cope and constantly had the 'I am fine, I don't need help' mantra reinforced by media, friends, etc.

My relationship with my friends and family has changed, with some for the better & others for the worse. I'm still learning and still growing. I have a lot of work to do. I'm 17 now and have barely scratched the surface.

If you're having a good day, I hope it stays that way & send my blessings if you would accept them.
If you're having a bad day, I hope it improves & send you healing and strength as well as positive vibes.
If you're not sure how you're feeling, that's alright. I hope you can figure out what you need today.

Take care, and remember your worth!

- Lyric

logosland and new phone

Hi there! It's been a busy summer so far. I enjoyed a trip to Logosland with my family recently. We stayed in a cabin. We had a wonderful neighbor from Quebec who gave marshmallows. She has a young guy who my brother played with.  I got to zip line, but since I don't weigh much I had to pull myself in. I also went on the water slides. Lots of fun but no stove or cutlery in the cabins. Microwave mini fridge and fire pit. Master bedroom can be seen from the door.

I have a new moto g phone which is awesome so far.

Herbal Tea recipe (no bags required, make your own)

my recipe for herbal tea / tisane:
hot water
a cup
4 very ripe berries (3 blackberries, 1 strawberry (whole, top off)
1 dash cinnamon
1 shake/ sprinkle black pepper
1 'splash' mango juice

1) Pour hot water into a small cup/ glass
2) Add the cinnamon, black pepper,and juice
3) Add berries and let sit for a few minutes (in front of a window preferably to keep in warm)
4) Feel free to drink your tea now
5) You can also eat the berries after, they're good :)

Natural Writers --15.7.12--

Look what I found on Gothic Charm School's Tumblr!

Common Characteristics of Natural Born, Freelance, or Career Writers

• An “odd ball” childhood.

Writers tend to start off as peculiar kids. They never quite fit in with their classmates. Their abstract thinking begins early on, and it causes them to struggle to relate to other children and elementary interests. Future writers commonly start off as either lonesome or socially inept kids.

• They were handed books as toys.

Naturally gifted writers are almost always reading enthusiasts. They have a further developed vocabulary and stronger syntax abilities because their scholastic experience goes beyond traditional curriculum.

• They believe in the “All or nothing” policy.

Writers are often perfectionists that will edit until their eyes bleed or completely scratch an idea off the table. They tend to carry that trait into their other projects as well. The writer will either create something complete or nothing at all.

• They take pride in their work.

Even if they need help, writers like doing their work 100% themselves without contribution. This is seen often in college, when the self-proclaimed writers don’t show up to office hours or ask for tutoring. Writers tend to treat even essays as a personal work of art. It’s their work, and it matters that it’s only theirs.

• They are equally organized and disorganized.

A writer’s mind works in choreographed chaos. With too much chaos comes no productivity. With too much organization comes no passion. The writer has learned how to have the perfect combination of both.

• They have both an ego and self-doubt.

-Enough ego to invest in one’s own thoughts, enough doubt to revise and rethink continuously.

• They enjoy simplicity.

Hot coffee, music, and a sunrise could make their morning flawless.

• They are observant.

Writers tend to learn about things from as many angles as they can. They’ll see the same sign for ten years and connect ten-thousand other separate things to the sign in that amount of time. They take in what they can and make a mental map of how things co-exist.

• They recognize the importance of memories.

Writers learn how to utilize past moments as criteria for their work. A writer will not forget their first love, or heartache.

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This sounds a lot like me.
Check out the quiz based on this: http://www.quotev.com/quiz.php/1899353/Are-you-a-natural-writer/