Saturday, September 3, 2016

September and school, part 1

School is nothing like you'd imagine it to be from movies. The cliques are fluid, and people rarely conform to the Mean Girls or Camp Rock stereotypes anymore. Every school has this unique spin on things socially that you have to figure out. I'd know, I've been to 3 elementary schools (one I went to twice), and I'm about to enter my third high school. Not all of these were in the same district, and I started with very few or no friends each time. That, on top of social anxiety and other annoying things kept me occupied in a sense, feeling trapped and helpless. Fun fact: I am not.

I'm sort of ambivalent about school, or rather I have two distinct feelings about it. Fear and a sort of excitement. I like learning, generally speaking. I like having friends. That said, I feel trapped by my social anxiety and the dictation of what I must learn, and the stress & time suck that is homework, tests, projects, exams, studying. I understand the benefits, but 1.5-3 hours of daily homework, plus about 6 hours of school (lunch break lasts almost an hour, and there are short breaks, but most of that is eating/ walking to and from lockers & classes, and an hour or more of transportation time leaves 14-15.5 hours to sleep, socialize, exercise, perform household chores, take care of oneself through hygiene, health appointments, romantic activities, personal projects, volunteering, and just plain doing nothing. It's not that bad, I suppose. If you take away sleep time (9-9.5 hours is what teens need according to studies), you're left with 4.5-6.5 hours for other activities during the weekday. 4 minutes to brush teeth, 1 hour to exercise, 15 minutes to shower, 2 hours to socialize, 1 hour for chores, 1 hour of volunteering, etc. It can all fit in if time gaming/ on social media/ streaming videos is cut down. Still, it's a rough adjustment from summer, especially if you hate rushing.

I've rediscovered waking up early, which makes me quite an outsider to the late sleeping teens who stay up late. I don't find it so bad, I'll be socializing with mostly adults soon, anyways. Mornings aren't the perfect, silent time for me, but they're less loud than afternoons. They're almost everything I love about nighttime: dark, quiet, cool, and non-rushed. They're surprisingly wonderful. What started as adjusting to back to school wake times led to a discovery that mornings aren't that bad, after all.

I'm going to go outside, read a little, walk a little, and disconnect for a while.

May every day be the best day of your life,